Matcha Chat 👏 Addressing 👏 the 👏 Rumors 👏
ZEALOS VLOG TRANSCRIPT // @Iris_is_Sylva
(Camera clicks on. Aura is sitting on a plush rug, wearing a cozy oversized sweater, holding a steaming mug. She leans in close to the lens, whispering like she’s telling a secret.)
Okay, wait, shut up, because we literally need to talk right now. Grab your matcha, get cozy, and just breathe with me for a second.
Have you guys looked at the Limbus tag on your feed today? It is a actual dumpster fire of bad vibes, and I am not here for it. First of all, the canal drama? Someone painted this absolutely unhinged, hilarious mural of the harbor master. Literally everyone is crying about it, but honestly? It is so camp. It is giving major IDGAF energy and I’m kind of obsessed. Let’s just laugh at the drama and move on, it is not that deep!
But okay, on a real note, let’s talk about the rumors because my DMs are actually exploding and you guys are panicking. Please stop scrolling those scary, sketchy news accounts. You know what they do—they literally just make things up to freak you out. There is this horrible rumor about that sweet local chef, but besties, it was literally just a super tragic accident. He fell from a balcony. It’s devastating, obviously, but some accounts are posting these insanely gross, fake details about the scene just for clout. It is so toxic. Please unfollow them for your own peace of mind. The street is already completely cleaned up and beautiful again, so let’s just send love to his family and stop gossiping. It’s bad karma!
(Aura suddenly brightens, holding up her hands to frame her face.)
“Oh, wait! Speaking of self-care and healing the vibe, you guys know I would never gatekeep. Since I’m literally trapped on my couch today recovering, I am finally dropping my exclusive Aura’s Alignment Reset Mirror!
It is this gorgeous, rose-tinted vanity mirror that sits right on your desk, and it literally has my favorite daily affirmations engraved right into the glass. If the energy in your apartment is feeling a little heavy because of all the outside noise, or if those random security searchlights are casting weird shadows through your windows at night, you just look into this mirror, see yourself in that gorgeous pink tint, and remind yourself that you are safe, you are protected, and you are a manifestation magnet.
The first fifty besties to swipe up and use code [PINKYPROMISE] get twenty percent off their first month’s subscription, plus a free matching aesthetic bandage kit for your own clumsy days! They are selling out so fast, so go, go, go!”
Let’s totally reset the vibe in the comments. Reply with your absolute favorite comfort food recipe so we can hype up our local food scene today. I love you guys so much. Byeeee!